Further adventures in Old Blighty

Monday 5:15pm (17.15), Lynton Hotel, London

Saturday was a gathering of E2 writers organised by my wonderful friend Ella. The noders (E2 writers are called noders, just go with it!) and I wandered London, looking at historical places and things. Ella is quite the history maven (she's the tiny one in the photo)

After a full day of walking and talking with these amazing folk, it was dinner at an Italian restaurant (in Islington...I just like saying that name!). I got an American calzone--red bell peppers, pepperoni, maranara, and lots of cheese--not particularly 'American' but really delicious.

Then, it was off to the pub for a pint, and amazing conversation. Like the American noders I've met, the Britnoders are a terrific bunch: articulate, opinionated, and freaking brilliant. I participated in (or just listened to) a number of great conversations. If you'd like a full run-down of how it went, here's the link to the stories (the one by Sam512 is especially funny): http://tinyurl.com/2p678v

I must confess, like the USA-vian noders I've met, I occasionally felt quite out of my depth. It is a bit intimidating and sometimes a bit demoralising to spend the day with so many really smart and knowledgeable people. Fortunately, they were warm, kind, and accepting--I just kinda kept my mouth shut so as to avoid seeming ignorant or boorish. I used to have a real "thing" about seeming ignorant, but that's eased up over the last ten years, I've been much more accepting of myself as I am. You know, "I don't have to be the best or smartest, just the best at what I am..." That's kind of hard sometimes when you are confronted with so many amazing people in one place. I got a pep talk from Dimmie, and that helped. I think I'm okay now.


After walking six miles or more a day, Sunday was a day of rest. Dimmie and I walked a bit, but a lot of shops are closed in London on Sunday.

There's a little shopping centre (we Ameravians would call it a mall...often pronounced to rhyme with 'gal' or 'Hal' here) near here which is named Victoria Place. Despite its insipid constant announcements ("Hungry? Need a break? Our food court is just upstairs...") accompanied by mind-numbingly simplistic music (what I call 'mental patient music')...the place is pretty good. We frequently shop there, they have a mini-grocery store ("Sainsbury's Local"), a drug store/chemist ("Boots"), and about all the other crap you need for living. Sainsbury's also carries Gin and Tonic in a can...which is so cool and always makes for a fun evening.

We went to a French Cafe upstairs at Victoria Place. Gods and Buddhas have I spent too much money on this trip, but it is so worth it...it's been one of the best holidays (erm...I mean "vacations") that I've ever had! I ate a very good croque monsieur. Unfortunately, even Starbucks (yes, they have them here) had closed down by the time we finished.

More fun in London Town

Sunday, 3pm (15.00), Lynton Hotel, London

This trip has been amazing! I haven't had any time to write in this here blawg, so here are a few notes about how it has proceded:

On Tuesday, I went to the Tower Bridge. There's a tour that takes us waaaay up, overlooking the Thames, and I know that neither Suzi nor Dimmie would be interested (both of em hate heights). It only cost £7 or so and, for a history and science geek like me, it was very interesting.

After a shopping trip to Soho, I took a coach out to Heathrow to meet Dimmie. We almost met each other, or rather, I missed her, but she saw me and we linked up and headed back to the Victoria area to get some pizza. The pizza here is so different from American pizza ... nah, just kidding! It's more or less identical! The salad bar, on the other hand, looked like it had some daunting and mysterious items, so I just ate pizza.


On Wednesday, we went and met with our friend David and his girlfriend, Leah. The four of us walked a lot, coz that's what you do in London. I had 'spoken' with David many times online, but he's even better in person, of course. David and Leah are fun-loving, quiet, devoted, and exceptionally good-humoured. We spent a lot of time walking around near Buckingham Palace, St. James's Park, and Green Park. Beautiful scenery, and so much green--expanses of it with bicycle paths and side walks, flowers, trees, and lakes. Also, there were some really huge swans, geese, and even a couple pelicans.

I had a splendid time meeting David and Leah.


For about a day and a half thereafter, Dimmie and I did exactly what you would expect. Exploration, fun, plenty of laughs, exercise--this vast city of stairs and rain has done a lot to keep us both soaked and exhausted. At the very least I'll be in great shape when I return to the Big D.



Sunday, 10:45pm (22.45), Lynton Hotel, London

Friday afternoon, we went to meet Dave, another online friend. He took us through the Bourough Market, a food marketplace of frightening size and variety. A thousand kinds of food: meats, cheeses, fish, breads, baked goods of every description, beer, wine, sweets...I could easily have gained back all the weight I'm losing on this trip there--guess it's good I'm pretty much out of money!

Dave took us out to his lovely home and made a delicous dinner for us. His wife Iza and amazingly cool daughter rounded out the crew. A neighbour, Judith joined the fun and stayed for dinner (she'd just become a grandmom that very day, so we had a lot of fun toasting to her and the baby and just being silly). Laughs abounded, good conversation, scrumptious food...everyone had fun. It was a perfect evening.

Monday 12:30pm (12.30---whoa, they match!), by the side of the River Thames, London

I just went on the London Eye flight, like a colossal ferris wheel, standing just across Westminster Bridge from Big Ben and the famous Houses of Parliament.

This sucker is huge...135 metres tall (which is something like 400 feet)... The so called 'flight' takes 30 minutes and goes at a stately pace in a climate controlled capsule. My capsule was full of German-speaking tourists. I took lots of great pictures, or pictures I hope look as good as I think they do....it is overcast, but bright, so I could not tell how they looked.

I made my first two stupid tourist mistakes: one today and one yesterday---neither one was too bad. Yesterday I went to the cash machines to get some money (that's the problem with being a tourist. It costs money.). On the way there, I picked up a big, frosty bottle of water. I set the bottle, unopened, on a table near the cash machine, then turned, got £40, turned around and my water was GONE. Some crafty bugger got a free bottle of water, thanks to the American tourist. The lesson is, never leave anything unattended in London. It only cost me a pound at least.

Today, I decided to go on the London Eye and the attendant River Cruise. I got my tickets, walked out and suddenly realised, the combined fee was £55!!! That's not dollars, son, that's a lots of money. I looked in my hand and discovered, I had two tickets for each!!! It was easy to walk through the queue and get £27.50 put back on my card, but a little embarassing. A pound is almost two dollars, so that's a pretty dangerous mistake...and yeah, I did pay the equivalent of $55 for the two events, but they were totally worth it.

Getting a bit of a blister on my third toe of the left foot. Londoners not only walk everywhere, but London is no place for those who hate stairs. On the plus side, I've walked more this weekend than I normally walk in a week. I will HAVE to go to Jeannie or Mary or Lianna and get a massage when I get back to Dallas.


Monday a bit later (maybe 14.30 or so) in a nearby sandwich shop at Embankment Tube Station, London
The other hotel owner, Mark, Simon's brother, was there this morning. He loaned me a small handbook called London A-Z (remember, the final letter of the alphabet is pronounced 'zed' here...which, cool as it is, does seem like it might detract from that ABCs song we sang as kids). It is like a miniature London Mapsco (a reference probably lost on non Dallasites!)---a tiny map book with every tube stop, street, and landmark clearly marked. It's been a lifesaver...On the Eye, I looked about and identified a lot of landmarks, buildings, and streets.

Boats and maritime stuff like that have always been a source of fascination for me. I'm not sure why, coming from landlocked Dallas, but maybe it's a matter of loving the exotic. The river tour was money very well spent...we saw tons of landmarks and I took a lot more pictures (all hail digital photography!), which I'll put up on Flickr when I get back to Dallas.

After that, I set out to find some lunch, across the appropriately named "Hungerford Bridge." Now, I know that I didn't come a quarter of the way around the globe to eat at Quizno's, but a club sammich sounded really good, and the place is right here next to the tube station; Also, they have odd British-y flavours of chips...I mean crisps. They're actually different names for basically the same things we have in the good old USA: barbecue rib (think BBQ), cheese and onion (very similar to nacho cheese), and vinegar and sea salt (which we call...vinegar and sea salt...pretty much).

London Trip: Days Two & Three

Saturday late, Lynton Hotel, London

One of my friends on Everything2 wrote an article about Heathrow Airport, so I knew what to expect. Still, it was not as bad as I feared. Suzi and I took a coach (that's a long-distance bus...as opposed to those double-decker things that are so characteristic of London...those are just called 'buses') into town and wound up a mere two blocks from our hotel. The Lynton, our hotel, is a great place, cozy, clean, and homey--it's just great. It's also very inexpensive, which is great, but I'd probably stay here even if I had a lot more money.

Our host, Simon, is a really nice man--a big, boistrous, jolly fellow full of good humour and good advice. Just what you want from a B&B guy.

After shopping, lunch, and a nap, we went to a local pub for a snack and a pint...who should we run into but Simon? He bought us a couple pints and we all had a laugh or two, then Suzi and I feasted on baguettes filled with brie and bacon.

Chris (just Chris), as our local Anglophile expert, had advised me about English bacon. It's not like American bacon---I never ever EVER thought I'd say this...I never thought it was possible. It's actually better! It is something a bit like a compromise between our breakfast bacon and Canadian bacon, but REALLY smoky and thick and crisp. It absolutely blows my mind. I've said that bacon is the reason I could never be vegeterian...and it's still true.

Before I came here I hoped to have a drink at a real English pub on this very night. It's interesting, I recently read an article to the effect that we Yanks don't really have a homologue to the pub. I think the author was right. A pub is much more than a bar or a bar & grill--it's a big part of the social landscape and a sort of geographic centre for neighbourhoods. Very hard to describe.

After a couple of drinks, we came back for a good night's sleep. There aren't many perfect days in a lifetime, I'm going to remember this one.


Sunday Noon, Camden Town, London

I've made the following observations about London so far:

1. I can deal with people driving on the left. You can get used to it pretty quickly, actually. But the steering wheel being on the right side of the car (while eminently sensible) just looks strange to me!
2. I know they're "pounds" or "quid" but I keep trying to say "bucks"--as in "That's a buck 'n' a half...I meant one pound fifty." Also, it's kind of hard to remember that they're twice as valuable as a USA buck. So four quid may not sound like much, but that's almost eight dollars!
3. People look different here. What I mean is, in Dallas, there are certain accepted models for dress, hair, etc. according to your social status, age, etc. Back home, middle-aged businessmen dress and look a certain way, teen-aged rebels dress a certain way, angry loners have their look as well. Minor (but only minor) deviations are allowed. Here, it is much less strict. I've seen middle-aged businessmen in suits with nose-studs, for example. I think it is because the city is so cosmopolitan, I've noted the same thing in New York.

Suzi was very sweet last night. Little Sis turned into Big Sis, being protective and lavishing me with lots of advice. It was really touching. This morning she and I had breakfast at the Lynton (eggs, toast, sausage, bacon, tomatoes, and beans--filling and delicious!)... After that, she was off to Cornwall, I walked her down to the cabstand and she grabbed a cab to Paddington (normally, these so-called 'black taxis' are not a very good value, but she wasn't going far and it really beats taking the tube...at least for someone who hates stairs and escalators as much as my beloved Suzi). A hug and she was off. I hope she has the time of her life!

I went to Camden Town to meet Catherine, a friend from on-line. Simon at the hotel told me that the buses are much better than the tube, but for the life of me, I could NOT figure them out, so it was down to the tube station to get some advice from the information people. A few false starts and I got an Oyster Card (a transit pass that is re-fillable...like a little credit card thing), and was off to Camden Town. This afternoon promises to be very cool, as this is one of the major punk and goth centres of the world.


Sunday 11:50 (23:50), Lynton Hotel, London

I had an absolutely amazing time. Catherine gave me the tour of Camden Town. Punks with hair spikes that would make rhinos jealous, women with hair the colour of cotton candy, people with enough piercings on their faces to qualify them for careers in cutlery display...all this and SO much more. I was in heaven.

Afterwards, we went to her home and I met her husband, Anthony. LOVELY people, very charming and good hosts. Simon, another friend, came over and the lot of us drank, talked and had a laugh. Dinner was marvellous--wine, and a Mediterranean style tapas too complex and varied to adequately describe here: fresh bread, delightful dips, fabulous cheeses, hummis, and a dozen other items...As my 'Second Mom,' Carol likes to say, "If you leave hungry, it's your own fault." ... heeding that advice, I ate and drank VERY well.

Afterwards we chatted about a dozen subjects, played some Wii games (oh, NOW I see what those are about... great fun!), and I got treated to an exhibition of some of Catherine and Anthony's lovely photography. They are extrememly talented, and I was quite impressed. I also got to hear some tales about the places where they grew up.

Catherine also took me to a Goth pub...that was really cool. The heart of weirdness...Although one fella sorta gave me a little trouble. He said something to me to the effect of "You don't belong here, mate!" while clapping me on the shoulder rather aggressively. It wasn't a real problem, but it was a little weird. I mean, come ON! I was wearing a Bauhaus shirt and everything.

Catherine paid me a big complement when she told me that I don't look at all like a tourist, for which I'm glad. Tomorrow, I think I'll allow myself to look like a tourist and go do some touristy things.

London Trip: Day One

Friday 5:45 pm Dallas time (17.45)
Wednesday, this abstract entity of a trip started being very tangible. I packed by suitcases and suddenly my plans of the past year began to be very real.

Yesterday before work, Suzi and I took our little ferrety friends to the veterinarian's office, where they'll be boarded for over two weeks. I hope they don't get too lonely! But the people at this particular clinic love ferrets quite a lot. The young man at the desk played with them affectionately as we waved bye-bye to our fuzzy-wuzzy friends.

I have quite a few people named Chris in my life right now--eleven by one count, including three at work and four on Eveything2. I have been editing/co-writing a story for a co-worker whom I call "Writer Chris" or "Chris F." I finished the first draft of his latest story, a supernatural thriller sit in Dynastic Egypt, and sent him my comments just before it was time to leave town.

Chris' story is a real diamond-in-the-rough-draft. When he approached me about it, he was afraid it did not quite have enough story...but this is what an editor does, I am helping him flesh it out. We're really excited about working together.

But he was not the Chris who came to pick Suzi and me up and take us to the airport. That Chris has been one of my closest friends for over 25 years, and, by token of our long friendship is known, simply, as Chris. Okay, sometimes I call him "Texan Chris" to my overseas friends!

Chris arrived, looking quite dapper from work, all slacks and tie and button-down collar.We petted the kitties goodbye and we were off. Thanks to his clever thinking and thorough knowledge of back routes to the airport (and a quick call to Sally), we got there, deftly avoiding the horrors of highway 635 and we were there in good time.

We all have "airport horror stories" to tellk but today was not one of them. We got aboard the plane and into the air with almost no difficulty. So here i sit, aboard a Boeing 777, flying over Missouri at 29,000 feet (8,800 metres). In another seven hours, I will be in London...my first time in a foreign country.


Friday 7:42 pm (19.42) Dallas time/8:42 (20.42) local time

A nifty display in front of me shows my modern-day magic carpet's position and speed. We are passing over the Great Lakes, into Ontario. I want to see them someday--I wrote an article on E2 about those five inland seas. their geography is so fascinating to me. My friend Joel went us there a couple years back and I have a lovely pic of him on my computer: he stands on a rocky shore, smiling, behind him a seemingly endless expanse of beautiful azure spreads out forever.

I note that we are headed toward the Kingston area. Somewhere, 31,000 feet below, my sweet Facebook friend Bernie is probably gotten to bed early--she's been busy. Next to me, my darling Suzi, sister in all but genetic reality, watches Cartoon network. To my right, my row-mate, a young military guy with the obligatory short hair, watches a subtitled movie. Ah bliss, a nice quiet row-mate.

Back before Dennis Miller decided to stop being funny and became bitter and angry instead, he had a very funny monogogue about the sort of row-mates he apparently always had..."Jonathan Livingston Humans" who would cheerfully chat the entire flight about their trips, try to show him the skull bong they'd bought in Jamaica, and ask him to interpret their dreams. "What am I here, freaking Queequeg?"

Thankfully, I have never really encountered one of those irritating creatures, but I'm sure they must exist! Why would the stand up comics lie?

The Last Ride of Jidosha Cavalier

The first time I saw him, I knew we’d become great friends—I could tell at a glance that he was smart, reliable, and a lot of fun. I hoped we’d stay together for a long time.

Jidosha was a 1997 Chevrolet Cavalier—Okay, I’ve been accused of imparting personalities to my belongings…guilty as charged! I guess I’ve always been a bit of an animist (I name my computers too, always after a computer, cyborg, or robot from a book or movie).

By April of 2004, my old car, Robin was wearing out—getting fuel leaks, suspension problems, and that sort of thing. At the time, I was studying Japanese. More precisely, I was studying Kanji, the flexible and beautiful writing system of Japan. One of my vocabulary words was jidosha which means ‘automobile.’ Each syllable is a word:

Ji (自) = self

Do (動) = move

Sha (車) = vehicle

That sha is the same word that got transliterated as shaw in the word rickshaw (from jinrikisha = ‘man-powered vehicle’).

I called him “Ji” (pronounced exactly like the letter G) for short—that little car got me through my years of delivery driving for diningin.com. Ji saw me through some very good times, and some very bad ones. Sitting in the front seat, between calls for Dining In, I wrote some of my best nodes for Everything2: Platonic Life Partner, Dorothy Dandridge, Jay Ward, Everything Stops for Tea, Tripanosomiasis, Breast Massage, and a half a hundred other of my works got conceived in the front seat of my little white car.

Ji got me safely to Mother’s house in Early, Texas dozens of times to see her, and my dear sister Marilyn. And a few days after Mother died, when the full gravity of missing her hit me, I pulled over at a public park and cried my eyes out in the front seat of that little white car.

But Cavaliers, like people, have a predictable and limited life span. Both of my previous Cavaliers lasted about 150,000 miles (that would be around 240,000 kilometres for you folks that use a sensible system of linear measurement—you know who you are!). As the 150k mark loomed, I got a bit of a sense of foreboding.

Last Wednesday, I went to get my hair cut by my dear friend Cecilia. On the way home, Jidosha started to shake, rattle and roll… “Maybe it’s just a spark plug or a coil or something…” I thought hopefully. “A tuneup will be all Ji needs.”

But it was not meant to be. Ji needed head and valve work—a very pricey proposition. It doesn’t make a lot of sense to pour a thousand or more bucks into a car that isn’t worth that, particularly when you’re saving up for a very expensive vacation, so it was Hobson’s choice.

So, late Sunday night, I drove my poor old steed home from Green’s Automotive. His engine sputtered and gagged for the interminable mile to our house.

Why is it that the French have such cool words to describe emotional states? Tristesse is usually translated as “pain,” “sadness,” or “melancholy,” but to my understanding, it is a deep, aching sadness…a very profound, empty feeling. Driving home in my old car brought all those old memories back, the good times and the bad…The last ride of Jidosha Cavilier was a mile of tristesse.

I picked up his replacement today, a blue Toyota Corolla. Older, but less worn than Jidosha. It sits in the driveway, ready to carry me to work for the next few years. I’ll donate my old white car to charity in the near future.

Setback and Drawbacks—Murphy Strikes Again

Did you know that Murphy, of Murphy’s Law was a real person? I certainly didn’t. And his law, as usually quoted, is not what he actually said, which is terribly disappointing to me. I like to use the popular version of Murphy’s Law:

If anything can possibly go wrong, it probably will

…at every possible opportunity. The real version, alas, is far more mundane, actually, it’s similar in spirit but I challenge you to read the eye-crossingly dull writeup in Wikipedia describing why the popular adage is incorrect. Go ahead! What’re you, chicken? Bok bok bok! C’mon, I double dog-dare you!

Ahem. Anyway, it is a little like finding out that Benjamin Franklin never said “A penny saved is a penny earned,” but instead gave some dull (and rather less pithy) discourse on the minting and management of small-value coins. Luckily for us, the marvellous Dr. Franklin did in fact utter the line about pennies, so one of our treasured aphorisms, is, at least, safe.

I guess Murphy’s Law is not itself safe from the ravages of the Axiom Commonly Referred to as Murphy’s Law.

You know, I think I shall continue referring to that axiom as Murphy’s law. If anyone challenges me on it, I will claim that I am referring to goth rock superstar Peter Murphy, former lead singer for Bauhaus. I mean, as a rock star, surely he could be no stranger to things going wrong. Or maybe sitcom character Murphy Brown…in sitcom world, things go wrong all the time…it’s one of the chief sources of humour.

Or maybe even Eddie Murphy. I suspect, at some point, during the making of Haunted Mansion, he must have thought “Didn’t I used to be a huge box-office draw?” And then maybe he thought, “If anything can possibly wrong, it probably will.”

So that brings us to my hobby, passion, and obsession: Mythical Beings

I’ve been working hard on my project all last year, hoping I can get copies ready by my birthday or so (23 March, btw). It’s great fun, but somewhat slow going. So yesterday I did the math…the results, as the wags say, are sobering.

It looks like, if I can put in two or three hours a day, every day, on the project, including work days and weekends, I might just barely make it. Of course, there is no possible way that can happen, not with house cleaning, work, and friends…not to mention the all-important E2 and on-line games.

So, it looks like Mythical Beings, Third Edition may take most of 2008 for the first printing. The better news is that the second printing should not take so long.

Murphy strikes again…someone named Murphy does, anyway!