While the kiddies snooze away, this magical character soars high above their homes, coming to each to dispense goodies to those who deserve them.
I am talking, of course, about the Christmas Bird.
Every Christmas Eve, the great Christmas Bird wings his way into civilized areas, flying high above the world. The haunting melodies of his magical bagpipes carried on the crisp night air (kiddies in warm climates simply change that to “balmy” or some other appropriate adjective).
Of course, he really doesn’t make moral judgements, like the other guy, though. I mean, he is more about judging people on annoying behaviour. You know, that guy who was talking too loud in Starbucks on his cel phone? Or that couple who would not shut up in the movie theatre? They aren’t getting a visit from old Christmas Birdie THIS year. No sirree.
But that couple at the restaurant, the ones who kept taking their screaming infant outside to calm him down—I’m betting THEY’LL be heaing magical bagpipes this 24 December.
Likewise, good tippers—Christmas Birdie LOVES people who leave appropriate gratuities (the person who tipped me $40 recently…she’ll probably be getting a visit from a certain large avian in a couple of days here).
Now, the Christmas Bird doesn’t really have presents…not exactly...I mean, who's he gonna get to build them? He finds lost items, or fixes things around the home that were broken. If you’ve been careful to signal your lane-changes while driving and you find something you thought was gone forever—think hard—did you catch the sound of bagpipes? Or if you are the type who always leaves a tip for your barista, you may find that your car runs a little better after Christmas or your computer boots up faster in the new year.
The Christmas Bird even has a distinctive catchphrase—as so many great holiday icons do. You know, Santa says “Ho Ho Ho!”, the Saint Patrick’s Day leprechaun says “
The Christmas Bird says “Merry Christmas, boys and girls!” Okay, I guess he’s kind of uncreative sometimes.
So now you know the story of the Christmas Bird. Next time, perhaps I’ll tell you about the Birthday Cacomistle, the Easter Frog, or the Hanukkah Kitten.
Or even the .. I dunno..the Arbor Day…Ape … or some darn thing.
Happy Holidays to all my friends!
Kellum, Suzi, Kenny, Cassandra, Ayumi, Nick, Jack, and, of course, Andromeda (who got left out of the picture, but I think she doesn't mind too much)!
